God's subtle nudges

Let's go back 2 1/2 weeks ago. It was our first Tuesday night that the four of us met, Traci, Jenna, Beth and I. We were talking, sharing and encouraging. I shared about some struggles in my marriage, things that happened in the past and how I feel like I have tried to do everything possible to fix things and move forward. I didn't know what to do anymore.
It was like a light bulb going off in my head. I needed to stop trying to "fix" Corte or my marriage, I needed to fix my relationship with God. All I really need to do is focus on my Savior and He will fix everything for me. I can't change Corte, but God can. I can't become a Godly wife by myself, but I can with Him. I can't do anything in alignment with God if I'm not in alignment with Him!!! God, why have you never told me this before? Why have I wasted so many years trying to fix this myself?.....................................................
So, I'm getting all my supplies ready and in a box for my morning time with God and I find a journal from the womens retreat last year that I had completly forgotten about. I look inside and find some pages written on. I come across a page where we wrote down things that God had spoken to us.......and I am amazed at what I am reading, what I wrote only a year ago and what I had completly forgotten about.
Yes, God told me the same exact thing. To focus on Him and Him alone and everything else will fall into place. How could I not remember that? Why did I not follow through? How many times has He told me these exact words and I have forgotten? And why is He so subtle sometimes? Why couldn't he have yelled this at me? Screamed at me until I listened!!
Because that's not our gentle, loving God that we are called to be like. I would have missed out on a valuable lesson about relationships, another example on how to be like God to my husband and kids......
God didn't continually nag at me until I got the point because that's not what He wants me to do in my relationships. Sure, it took me a while, but how much sweeter is the realization when it comes. How much more apparent is His gentleness and how much more do I adore Him for it.